Please check this and reply as soon as possible it's very urgent as I need to submit it latest by 25th December.
It took nineteen years to become who I am today. I grew up in a healthy family. Within these years, I have been given the freedom to explore the world in order to satisfy my curiosity. I complete every task assigned to me with zest as for me it's hard to be productive without enthusiasm. I learned how to be independent at an early age. Throughout my years in school several opportunities arose and I propel myself toward cultural activities like dance & sports and bagged various awards for the same in school & college. Apart from this I am also fond of practicing yoga. My peers viewed me as a positive individual who love to learn new things and dedicated to every task assigned. I took commerce stream, after completing 10TH. During this period I did well in my stream and got subject topper award for business studies in class 12TH board's .when my schooling was over, I found various degrees for graduation & finally opted for computer application as per my interest. Ability to adjust in any environment and with different people is my strength. Moreover I take life as it comes with optimism and never give up. I think weakness is just a state of mind if you don't consider its anywhere, it's an act which make person paralyze. Lastly I want to add up that dynamic, self reliant and articulate nature sets me apart from others.
Thanks and waiting for response
You mention several opportunities arose. I think its best to mention 1 as you attempt to express how you complete every task assigned to me with zest.
Thanks for your advice. I mentioned one but due to word limit I need to remove.
Is there any other thing which I need to improve and also do you think I should remove these lines as I can't add on any other thing. I am waiting for your reply.
The first few sentences are not very strong, not very interesting or impressive. Sorry! I don't mean to be critical. They are just boring and obvious, and it would be better to write something unexpected. Notice how these sentences are all about different topics:
It took nineteen years to become who I am today.
I grew up in a healthy family.
Within these years, I have been given the freedom to explore the world...
I complete every task assigned to me with zest as for me it's hard to be productive without enthusiasm.
I learned how to be independent at an early age.
Before you start to write, choose ONE thought that is the bass of the whole essay. Then, write every sentence to support that main idea.
i just want your help to tell me hw to start as i am not so good in writting essays . I wrote it because i need to submit in a college and there we need to write about ourself, that must include strength, weekness,what are your personal qualities and what your friends and family think about in 200 words
Friends University is a University that asks a lot from its students, and the majority (if not all) are involved in extra-curricular activities on and off campus. Then, there are some students who surpass expectations, like my friend Panya Amphone. I met him when I first got to this University and he has never failed to impress me.
Panya is a Singing Quaker (a choir which is the University's pride and longest tradition,) a peer tutor, an instructor, a student worker, and, on top of all that, a student. I've seen his hard work and everything that follows it, and while he has made many achievements many people don't know the effort he puts behind his work.
I remember seeing his Snapchat where he was memorizing lines to the Mikado, and I remember thinking "I want to go see that." I saw his hard work and it paid off. The Mikado was a success and Panya and the other casts members really made it all worth it.
Sometimes, when people are doing phenomenally well there is always a group of people who have something negative to say and this, unfortunately, happened to my dear friend. He got a little personal on Snapchat this past weekend after KMEA (Kansas Music Educators Association.) Someone he really looked up to harshly and unjustly criticized his work and effort.
When I saw this, I felt distraught because I always tell my roommate how phenomenal Panya is and that I couldn't do half of the things he does. Hearing him pour out his emotions made me realize that it was about time to make an article saying how much I actually looked up to my friend.
No matter how much stress he is under, he always greets me with a hug and a smile that brightens my day, and, if I don't see him, he'll yell "PAMEEELAAAAA" (my middle name) across campus just so we can talk. It is safe to say that this type of friendship is my favorite; we talk about school, work, and sometimes his personal life, and even if it's just for a few seconds or five minutes I'm always happier.
I'm not a person who naturally goes and hugs anyone but I'll never reject a hug to anyone, especially Panya.
Panya, if you are reading this, I hope you're still killing the game (who are we kidding, of course you are) and know that negative comments should never cloud your vision because, at the end of the day, it is your dreams and your life, and only you can make these important choices. I'm sure there is an enormous team of supporters behind you, and I'll always be a part of that team, even if I'm not always visible.
Love your friend, PAMELAAAA.