Bullying Essay Experience

These are real  bullying stories that others lived through, Unedited. If you have a story, please send it to us at: helpRyouthNOW@live.com

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I’m an eighth grade girl, I was bullied from around mid-5th to 6th.  I had a slight crush on the boy who bullied me, so I only saw it as teasing and ignored my mother’s warnings about the boy.  By the middle of sixth grade I was terrified of this kid, but I didn’t really realize it—I still sat at his lunch table and talked to him during science.  But the horrible thing was, he essentially robbed me of any free will.  I had a tiny zit on my nose?  “You’re ugly as f***!”  He didn’t like my shirt?  “B**** you’re a f***ing idiot!”  I bought the wrong thing for lunch?  “Why’d you get that?  Hey look everyone, she got the mac and cheese, she’s f***ing stupid, she’s gonna die and the world’s gonna laugh”  I’m still terrified of this boy.  I’ve said six words to him (I counted) since the beginning of seventh grade in September 2014.

    Now just because I’m an optimist, I’m sharing a story only slightly relevant but will hopefully restore hope in a shattered mind.  A boy I like, my best friend, and my other friend and I were all hanging out at a school Halloween event, we were waiting to go in the haunted house.  My bully and a few of his dumb friends were behind us in line.  My best friend and the boy would answer questions if he spoke to us, helping me ignore him, and at one point when he was staring at me, my crush gently nudged me around a corner out of sight and stood in front of me.  This proves that your real friends will always, ALWAYS have your back no matter how bad things may seem.  Don’t give up hope—it’ll improve (:

Love, a girl who’s been there

Hi
My name is Elizabeth or Eliza or sometimes even Lizzia.
Where do I start....well from as far back as I can remember I've been bullied. From teachers to students to my own next door neighbours. I was born in Glasgow, Scotland but then moved to Norway when I was two. I lived there for almost five year and came back to my home in Aberdeen, Scotland when I was six. Now I lived, breathed and spoke Norwegian even my ancestry is Norwegian (or Danish still not sure about that) so when I came back to Scotland I was a scared six year old (older then everyone) starting a new school where nobody would understand me.

The bits I remember was this girl (I'm gonna call her Zoe) decide to pick on me because I was friends with the only other Norwegian girl Sunivia (pronounced Sun-eve-a). The bulling got worse when another girl (called Flora) left me when she found out I was still in nappies (diapers for you Americans) because I wet the bed. Anyway Sunivia left after my first year and the picking on got worse. When I was 11 my teacher made me take a Dyslexia test and I was told that I had Dyslexia and Dysgraphia (don't ask). It took them seven years to know that...seven years of hell and comments like:

'Why are you so stupid.'
'Your a year older.'

I left when I was twelve leaving my friends after the Headmistress kicked me out and any other student who had a mental health problem or was diagnosed with a learning disability (unless like my BFF Frieda who's mum worked at the school). I was angry and cried because I didn't know what I did wrong. Then I was moved to a new school and I knew from the moment I went there that I was gonna HATE it. The bulling that I'd tried so hard to escape from was back. And this time in a form I had not had since Kindergarten...boys. I had lived in a all girl school in Aberdeen for seven years and Zoe was back.

The boys thought it was funny that I was a book nerd and loved writing (which is probably why this is so long). My friend Amy was emotionally unstable and kicked me when see got made (she's stopped now and we're still firm friends). When I dyed hair for the first time they said:

'Burn the Witch'
'Burn the child of Satan.'
'Left handed Witch!'
'Burn the Faery Know!' (fairy child of Scottish myths).

That last one was extremely offensive because my ancestor was burned at the stake for being a 'Faery know' in the Witch burning rave in Scotland. When I entered my third year of senior school (8th of 9th grade) he boys started to touch me in inappropriate places, chuck my stuff against the wall, rip my things out of my hands and rip to shreds. The girls in my dorm (boarding school) were just as mean. I was often sick because I was scared to go to school. They took my clothes, school books and then took my shampoo and squeezed out the contence on my bed and left it there. They also his my stuff and stole my hoodies so I was left in a freezing castle by the sea with nothing to keep me warm. The teachers didn't help. I was off school more and I was scared for my mother.

My dad was in the army and his father was in the army and so on. They were all military officers with medals galore and a short temper. My father owns his own business and when I was 'sick' I was really watching out for my mother who is small, extremely skinny (almost anorexic) and I felt VERY OVERPROTECTIVE of her. As my grades slipped more arguments happened and more screaming matches between my father and I happened. Until my body couldn't take it anymore and I really was sick. As it turned out I had something called 'Viral Labyrinthitis.' If anybody had had this you know it is hell. You can't move without vomiting, I couldn't shower and I didn't eat much. The school kept pestering my mother sent me back. This lasted for a month before I was well enough to go back. I then had to see a Social Service lady who was trying to sort out the s- - - at home. I went back to school and the same boys then said to me
"Why don't you just stop being weird Bromby!"

And then I realised. Keep reading E. Keep watching Harry Potter and raving about it and how Sirius should not have died. Keep being wanting to be a red head like your grandmother and your first cousins once removed and second cousins. Be proud that you are a descendent of a 'Faery Know!' and that you are the granddaughter of the dead Kenneth McKenzie the person in charge of most of the Scottish Whiskeys distilleries in Scotland, be happy that your Great-Great-Great Grandfather Daniel Adamson manufactured the Manchester Ship Cannel in 1880s. Be happy that you have thousands of cousins who love you. Be happy that your Aunt gave birth to two amazing first cousins you see as your siblings.

After that year I moved schools again. I didn't know which school id move to but I knew I'd be put down a year again. I'm now sixteen years old and turning seventeen in December 2015 and I couldn't be happier. So my advice is to people (if your still reading) that never EVER give up on who you are. Never bottle up you emotions like I did. Let them out. Let them be known. Tell those bullies to stop it. Lead your own life. After all we only have one shot at it...

Love
Elizabeth "Eliza, Lizzia or E" Alison Bromby (16, Scotland, Kilgraston School of Girls, Perth).

Sam

Well, hi, 

My name is Sam, (girl) and when I found this website I almost cried, I though I was alone in this, but I guess not, well here’s my story…

        I guess you could say it started in sixth grade, there was this guy, who I had been in class with for a few years and I kinda liked him, and one day he asked me out, so of course I said yes. a month later, I’m getting things from my locker and he walks up to me and tells me he was only pretending to like me for attention and told me I was weird, and I should’t bother talking to him any more. Soon, the whole school knew about that weirdo he dumped, and what a freak she was. Needless to say, the “popular girls” found out. In the halls if they saw me they would yell  “Hay, Sam!? You gunna hypnotize any more guys into liking you with your dark magic?!” or “Sammy! How are you? I heard you got dumped bad, and by a real loser to!” and my stuff would start to disappear from my gym locker, or backpack, and those girls would just happen to have it. It got worse in seventh grade.

        Every. Single. Day. They would “accidentally” bump into me, make up new nick-names for me, pull my hair, glare at me, tease me, and soon I was in the guidance, or nurses office every day just to avoid them. One day, a girl, (lets just call her Kate) walked up to me and told me to ignore those b***** and sit with them. I did, and it was the best thing that happened all year. Every lunch we would sit in the corner of the lunch room as a group and talk about the best rock bands, or the latest thing at hot topic, or whatever. 

        But the “popular girls” found out, and started harassing Kate too. Kate never told me though, and I never saw any of it happening, until the day I was selling tickets in the lunch room for the musical. 

        “Sammy! Sammy! Come here!” popular girls, a whole two tables of them, but I just ignored them. They didn’t like that so they came over to me and started tugging on my cloths and hair and yelling into my ears things like “why do you hang out with those idiots?”,  and “God, how cheap was this shirt?” and I started screaming for them to get off and tried to push them away, but they just wouldn’t stop. 

        Luckily, Kate forgot her book in the lunchroom and when she saw what was going on, she got a lunch monitor who broke up the group and got them to sit down, to reveal me, crying in their place, my face in my hands, in of the whole grade.

        Out of revenge for getting them in trouble, they told one of their teachers and classmates that Kate was touching them in a lesbian way, and no one would speak to her but me. We both went home “sick” later that day.

        That was a year ago, and stuff still happens, but ever since the principal found out and threatened suspension if they didn’t stop and apologize, it got better. It’s all good now, I joined the drama, and wouldn’t give up my wierdo, freaky, friends for the world! So if anyone bothers to read this, thanks for listening. :D

Kaetlynn

Hi! My name is Kaetlynn. My story might be short because I only remember just a few points of it, and I guess that is a good thing. My dad is a Marine. (So I move around to different places, A LOT.) When I moved to Oceanside, CA, I went to a school on a Military base. Beginning of 6th grade is when it started. Nobody really talked to me, didn't want to be seen with me, said I was ugly. Basically I wasn't good enough to be a "cool kid" Come 7th grade, this boy (Whose name I won't mention) sat next to me in class. He liked me at first. But then one day he called me ugly, so my teacher moved him. From that day on he was horrible to me. I walked home everyday, so if I was walking home he would be far away, and if he saw me he would yell "B****!!!" Really loud, and all his friends and the girls with him would laugh. At school he would tell me "You're lucky you're a girl because if you weren't I would slap you." I told him I would have my dad talk to him, but he would say "Your dad is a white p**** B****" He would call me "snitch" everyday, and would bully me online by calling me a "b****." It went on & on. I went to the office at least 4 times and the principal never did anything. All she would say is "Please stop bothering her." Finally, after a 5th time of going, my mom threatened to get the police, and a restraining order involved. He FINALLY stopped. But it still went on here and there with other people, I was the "different" kid, even though i looked and acted perfectly normal, everyone around me would look and talk about me like I was something nasty or weird or different. It REALLY sucked to go through that all for 7th grade, and 8th grade. But I still kept my grades to all A's and tried to ignore it. Come high school everything eventually got better. Here and there kids will be mean and try to say nasty rumors to people that I "do stuff" with people. And the people who say this? I don't even know them. But if you are ever bullied reach out and get help! Don't be scared if you bug adults at school or anywhere too much about it. They need to help you.

Si'erra

Hi. My name is Si'erra, and I have a personal bullying story I would like to share. It was a few months after school had started, and I was in my second period science class. A girl had came in because she transferred her class for an unknown reason. I thought Wow! Were getting a new person in our class. How exciting! But then my science teacher told her to sit in the desk next to me, to which she replied "No! I don't like her". I was so confused and set back by this. She barely knew my NAME and already, she was going to say that she didn't like me! I tried to push my feelings down and continue with my work, but it bothered me for the rest of the day.

A couple days later, the bell had rang for the end of science and I was still packing up. The girl had gotten in trouble and had to stay for a couple of minutes. And the whole time she kept calling me slow and yelled at me "Shoo bug shoo!" I wanted to say so many mean things back, but I just held it in and continued on my way. I was so mad! It went on like this, her calling me mean names like stupid, ugly, dumb, poor, childish. Then, during science again one day, we working making poster boards for the science fair project. She kept commenting behind my back saying that my poster board looked childish. Then she did something that no one who's ever bullied me has EVER done. She threw markers at me. I was really set off by this and began yelling at her and throwing them back, which I got in trouble for. I guess I didn't learn my lesson from that, because a few days later, she told her friend to throw something at me during lunch, and she did. I was so angry that I grabbed my eaten up chicken bone and threw it right at her. That night, I got into even more trouble than before. And because of that, I decided that I was going to ignore her. I knew it was going to be hard at first, and it was, but a month later it stopped.

But that was only for a couple of months. It was in my third period history class that everything changed. We were being paired up for a project, and we could only work in groups of four. Me and my friends paired up together, but we needed an extra person. My teacher suggested this guy who also bullied me, but not as frequently as the girl. I told him that I couldn't work with him, and another girl in my class kept complaining that I complain too much. I started arguing with her, which turned into an argument against the girl who was bullying me. My teacher broke us up, but the girl continued to bully me. So then, my friend pulled me out the class to talk to me. She said that I should report it to my guidance counselor or the front office. I didn't want to do it at first, since I did it with the girl who last bullied me and I was the only person that got in trouble. But I decided that enough was enough, and it was time for me to take action.

After class I reported the bullying case to the office, who made me write a report about it. I thought that would be the end of it, but it turns out that the girl had to write a report too. She said that all she ever told me was to "shut up" because I was a loud person, even though I knew that DEFINITELY wasn't true! Afterwards, I went to my fourth period gym class, where all the eighth graders have their gym class together. I sat in my squad, which was right next to hers. And she kept talking about me like I wasn't there, calling me so many names, and the only thing I could do was just sit there and be forced to listen.

Then, during math, something happened that I will NEVER forget! I went up to go get a piece of paper, and I heard a girl in my class say that I was not being bullied, and how she was bullied previously. I wanted to scream "AND YOU DON'T THINK I HAVEN'T?!" But instead, I started arguing that words DO hurt! Words hurt me! And then the girl who bullied me started yelling at me to shut up.

And that's when I completely snapped.

I went on and on ranting about how sick and tired I was of hearing her mouth. It went on for a couple minutes until my math teacher told me to go take a walk. I slammed the door as hard as I could and stormed out the classroom crying. I was so broken down inside. I couldn't take anymore of it. I ended up staying in my student helper's room for the rest of the day, and a few days later, the girl got expelled for beating up a seventh grader.

I just want to say that, in the end, things will get better. And I'm not just saying that! And if your being bullied, then tell your guidance counselor or your parents or anyone that you can trust! Because you can't keep going on like this! Trust me, they'll know how to help.

Okay so my story starts when I was in 3rd grade . Everything had been good up until then. I wasn't ever the prettiest , at the time I was struggling with my weight , and I struggled in school a lot . I got made fun of a lot and I didn't have any friends but one the friend that I had have since kindergarten . I dreaded going to school . Everyday i got made fun of . People would whisper under there breath things like ugly , fatty , stupid , hippo , whale , and a lot of other things . It never really got physical there would be people shoving shoulders and push sometimes . I went home and cried most nights . It was like that most the year until the last couple months . When I randomly got presents from a boy at school . We ended up dating he made me feel like I really had someone .The mean comments and occasional pushes still were there but it didn't both me as much while me and (unnamed boy) were dating . We dated all through 4th grade and most of 5th grade until middle of the year when we broke up. 5th grade we basically weren't together we never really talked .5th grade was really bad . I was a "tom boy" . I still was struggling with my weight and was very self conscious . So I wore more lose shirts and sweat pants most the time . I didn't have any real friends most the time I just hung around with the boys . One of them I had a crush on . I told a girl that I thought was my real friend . She told him and he said ew I would never date her . She came to me after that laughing telling me what he said and said that no guy likes me because I'm ugly . I went how that night crying .the rest of that year was bad . It was third grade all over again . 6th grade wasn't as bad . I got use to the pushes and rude comments I had gotten close with a guy and we ending up dating . We dated for around 8 months . It started off good then around 5 months he tried make do sexually things like send him pictures and other thing . It ended up getting physical rarely but it did . He would punch me in the chest , push me against walls aggressively , or aggressively grab me to wear it hurt . I eventually ended up getting out of that relationship . The night we did break up I went running to my best friend whom was a guy that I had know since pre-k . He comforted me and was there for me made me feel special told me I was beautiful and that he loved me . We ended up dating 2 months later and dated for 8months it was a horrible relationship but I chose not to see it like everyone else did . But He was really rude to me all the time . Told me I would never be enough that I wasn't beautiful wouldn't ever stick up for me when his friends called me rude named he would just sit there and laugh when one of his friends grabbed my butt it was bad . Over summer heading into 7th grade I struggled with depression and it caused me to lose a lot of weight I went through a really tough time I found out that my grandma that I was really close to had cancer my parents were always arguing and I didn't have anyone it felt like .i started cutting it got pretty bad . 7th grade got a lot better . I didn't get made fun of as much but an occasional freak etc. It didn't bother me that much . I was still going through a lot at home and with my boyfriend . I met this guy Cody . He was really sweet . Always there for me . He was the first one that I told about me cutting . We were on the phone when I told him . I'd never heard someone cry so hard . He didn't tell me to stop . Instead he helped me through it and helped me stop . I ended up falling in love with him . I didn't have to guts to tell him for 3 months . I told him the night I broke it off with my boyfriend tuned out he felt the same way . We decided it was best to wait . When we did start dating it was amazing . He was always making me feel special and wanted . We've been dating 5months today . My boyfriend have me hope. I love him and can't imagine wear I would be without him

Emmeline

My name is Emmeline (pronounced like Em-ah-lyn). My story isn't all that bad, but I want to show a new form of bullying most teachers in my school don't recognize and my story that was mentioned very subtly to my friends.

When I was little, and in kindergarten, I was pretty chubby and naive, so people were always annoyed at me. I had never noticed this; if they laughed at me, I would think I had said something funny which made me do more embarrassing things. I was friendly and always saying "hi" to people I haven't known long and they give me a weird look; if they're a guy, they would think I like them. First and second grade was the same thing. Finally my senses came to me: one day at school this boy (who would be soon be called "popular") had laughed at me because I was very weird in my own way. Then I thought, why is he laughig at me? It wasn't that funny.

So, because I regretted the way I was, I changed.

My parents (coincidentally) said I needed to lose weight because the doctor said I was overweight. If I was younger, I would have protested. But I was so eager to change I said yes. I was on a diet and it was a huge help. I lost about 15 pounds. Once the happy, friendly, naive girl, I realized people don't like that. Why? I always asked myself. Now I know. But more on that later.

Eventually I became more shy, stopped raising my hand (because my answers would be wrong and "ridiculous"), and stopped making more friends. That boy who made fun of me though, sort of became friends with me just because we always talked in class (and I must admit I sorta had a crush on him). But by the fourth grade, I learned my lesson not to say hi to him. And then he said the most stupidest thing about me when a friend of mine mentioned me: "Who's Emmeline?"

I was pretty mad, but getting mad over those things is stupid. Wasting your time on those people isn't worth it.

Things changed a lot after fifth and sixth. I had changed, and by the sixth grade that boy was in my class yet again. We both learned our lesson: to not speak to one another. We mostly just spoke like one or twice a day, but that was it. I was still naive in that year, but now I'm in seventh grade, and I would say I have been "evolved." I'm usually sarcastic now, speaking quietly to people who would judge me, but with friends I would be myself. I started dressing differently too, and still had to maintain my weight even though I still love food. People had been mad at me at gym; if I don't do a good job on the team, if I dropped the ball - but those people, like I said, aren't worth it (btw, people are judging me cuz we didn't win the game? Well, 1. I'm not that good in sports because 2. I'm an asthmatic). I even cried once, but got over it.

Today, people in school don't bullying you in a very blunt way. They do it more manipulatively, but I know I'm not fooled. (I even made myself my own quote) They would ask you to come over and hang out with your group, slowly making you feel comfortable with them and behind your back - laughter about what ridiculous things you do. If you did something weird, they would "encourage" you to do more just to laugh at you. They would even try to make fun of you by asking them to be your friend. This girl is (calling her weird is rude) sorta... Naive about the things around her. Boys pretend they have a crush on her; following her, saying I love you, hugging her. I wish she would just be able to figure out that, they're trying to bully her by letting her comfort get out. I will say something, I just need to find my self-confidence that I lost in the third grade. But it's coming, don't worry.

They say to tell on people who bully you, but why? In that form of bullying (I call it "manipulative bullying") would they believe you? The people will just continue on and on and on and they would probably believe no one.

I know this wasn't a bad bullying story, but I just wanna say, be careful with the people you are with. Because people are cruel these days in the most implicit and quiet way possible. Try to stay with the crowd, but be yourself. As in, don't let the other people get you down. And always watch out, because when do we know what is real, and what is not.

~Don't fool a person who had been fooled.

PS, the reason why people feel you're weird because you're friendly? Because they aren't used to someone as nice as you.

Corina
It feels weird that something so small can affect you so greatly. I have had a pretty good life by economic standards, but when it comes to emotional I had it bad. I think it all started in second grade, that was when I got fat and I mean FAT. At first it was little mean things, taking my lunch because "your too fat to eat" or the constant cries of
"ewwwww" and "fatlard" in P.E. I was only in second grade! Things got worse as the year went along. I had no friends. None. The kids played a game called "get away" it involved them trying to get as far away from me as possible. Then the worst thing happened, I was physically pushed and shoved back and forth while changing for P.E. By this time I was in fourth grade and i understood that this was not right, but how could I stand up for myself? I convinced myself it was nothing and carried on with my life. One day in fifth grade a teacher noticed the new girl punch me and told the school councilor. I'm going to make this part short. There was crying, hurt feelings, and alot of apologies. After that there was sixth grade, nothing had changed so I left. I am now at a new school, and I love it, I have learned to brush off the occasional "chipmunk cheek" and other mean things. That is my story that i have told everyone, now here is what only I know. Throughout the years of my bullying I got depresses. I tried to kill myself at age 10. I cut my wrists. I stopped eating. I stopped laughing. My life was never the same. I don't want this to happen to anybody. That is why I wrote this, SPEAK UP! Nothing is going to change if you don't. Stay strong.

Love,
Corina

I was severely bullied and beaten up in middle school,particularly in grades 6 and 8 because I was weird and annoying to others . The physical bullying was reduced in 9th grade (to stealing and destroying my properties) . In 10th grade the bullying became more physical with punches in my arm almost everyday(sometimes,if not always I riposted and stand up to myself). In grade 11 I began to be myself a bully(still,I was picked on constantly in this year by a tall guy) and I constantly beat up and picked on two of my classmates(one of them for many reasons,including vengeance,and the other because he was pissing me off with his unstable behavior) but in 12th grade I became calm(I'm 18 now).I even know why I became a bully in a prompt way,because all the years and struggles I have been through made me for a serious yet a small period of my life a monster searching for revenge on my old bullies and I wanted to rebuild my self esteem(wich was ruined by the age of 12).I am still bullied now I can tell but it is rare and verbal bullying(very rare phisically,because some types of bullying have age limits and punching someone in the face when you're legally an adult is considerate a crime and punished by law).

Rochelle

Well it all started in year 7, I told one of my best friends Something very personal and then the next day it was all over the school

They would make fun of me for it call me Names and Sometimes hit me I would go home a cry I told NOBODY! I was so Upset about it It came to the point where I had no friends I would Hide myself away And  I would just Hate school I skipped most of it because of this Bullying I would not talk to anybody I stopped eating I got really ill I started being sick going dizzy and it came to the point where I fainted and went to hospital I fainted when I was Outside I wacked my head of the Pavement Cracking it open I lost quite abit of blood

I got Bullied for My Hobbies Art & Singing and for Liking Dinsey Etc ...  But it didn't end there I moved to Essex's 2 weeks later Everybody hated me bullied me I cut myself and I tried to Hang myself one time My brother stopped me And I finally told him everything My

Mum and dad Went down to the school and Started Telling the head teacher everything  Now I go to a really good School I stand up to Bullys

And sometimes I even help people get threw hard times

I know it must be tuff but tell someone It will make your life a Hole lot better

Beth

My name is Beth. I was bullied since
 Age 8. It all started in 2nd grade. I was the friendliest girl, and my "BFF" , Meghan, started showing me bad things and I told her to stop. She turned all the boys against me, even my boyfriend, Kaleb. Then I moved in 4th grade. I wanted a better life. I expected this new school to work wonders on my life. All I got was BAD. This girl, whom her name is Maddie, she bullied me. Badly. In 4th and 5th grades, she turned everyone against me. Then acted my friend, then called me overweight fat cow and idiot and stupid. The counselor told me to stop lying about this "precious angel". In fact, everyone said Maddie was the best one ever. I got the best grades. Even my pressuring teacher said that. But it wasn't good enough. I said to Maddie that I wanted to kill myself. Her reply: GOOD!! Then she got everyone to chant,"Let's kill Beth! Let's kill Beth!" My new nickname was Fatty Patty Fatterson. I was going to kill myself when my Mum and Daddy moved us to a better school. I have the occasional meanie, but I get over it. I have SOOOO many friends i can't even count now.I am so happy now!!

{due to privacy we erased the last name from the sentence.}

Lalia

As you can most likely tell, I have a weird name. I don't even know why I have this stupid name with a even stupider last name, but I am stuck with it. At school I was called Apple. They said that they would feed on me and pushed me around. Then one day someone dared a classmate of mine to bite me, and they did. I still have the scar. I was really mad so I ran home crying. I started skipping school, pretending to go, until my parents found out. They were mad and asked me why. I didn't think they would understand so I just said the homework was too much. They just said they would help me. I went back to school and people were whispering about me. I had no idea what until I over heard the TEACHERS talking about it. I was really sad. They said that I had a mental and physical problem and I should be sent to a "special school". People said I hit and bit people. I was desperate for a solution. I planned to kill my self when a girl in my class said hi to me. I thought she was teasing me. Turns out, she was being insulted too. I wasn't the only one. She talked to me and then the next day, she committed suicide. I was mad. I went home and told my parents my issue. They listened and understood, since they had similar issues. My parents said that we were going to move soon, but before we did, she went to my school. I was really embarrassed until she said to everyone: "everyone is different, and having a special name is the unique part of someone, it doesn't mean that we are strange, it means we are special". Everyone was silent and we marched out. I am just giving my advice. I don't want you to suffer depression too. Tell someone. Don't commit suicide, because then, the bullies win.

~Lalia

Jess

Hi, my name is Jess . I'm 13 years old and live in NSW, Australia with my Mum, brother, sister and Dad. I was first bullied in year 1 after recently transferring from a private school to a public school. I was very shy back then and therefore did not make friends easily. As we lived on a farm, I had to catch a bus home every afternoon with a bunch of cruel, dirty seniors  who constantly pushed and shoved me around. There was this one girl, Cody, who used to call me names all the time, some better than others, and would slap me around whenever I tried to tell the teacher. It stopped after she left and I soon began to make friends and enjoy school. Well, you can't say 'enjoy,' more like 'tolerated.' My year 1 teacher was an absolute cow. She humiliated me in front of the class and abused my family in private. Whenever I told my parents, they would just ignore me and continue with whatever they were doing. I was lost. I consoled in my best friend Jakeisha at the time and she brought her phone in a recorded an exchange between me and the teacher. She then showed it to the principal and the teacher was suspended. 

I got through the rest of primary school pretty well. I was reasonably popular, top in every class and played in every school sport team there was. I had recently reunited with my best friend Lexie from kindergarten when more trouble started. I was in year 4, and the guy I liked had a crush on Lexie. Normally, I wouldn't care, but because although she knew I liked him, like REALLY liked him, she went out with him and then said to me: "You can have him when I'm finished with him." I was heartbroken and stopped talking to her for a couple of years. In that time, she spread rumours about me and my family life; my Dad was cheating on my Mum and was going to move out. Some were true, some were not. The fact that she embarrassed me in front of the whole school did not matter to her and she just waved it off. It wasn't til the end of year 6 that we became friends again and even then I didn't like her that much. We started high school together and grew closer as each day passed. It was then when I met Eliza. A kind, caring girl who had had trouble with her previous friends. I decided to become friends with her, even though Lexie didn't like it, and we soon became EXTREMELY good friends. Soon Lexie came to accept Eliza and they became good friends, which was nice, but unfortunately Lexie decided to steal her away from me. At first Eliza refused, but because of Lexie's persuasive techniques and constant convincing, she soon stopped hanging out with me and spent more time with Lexie. After a couple of months we started being friends again and have stayed that way since. As I didn't tell anyone, and those I did didn't listen, I started thinking about suicide. Of course, I didn't act on it, but I often thought about what they would say if they woke up one day and I was gone... 

NP4H ADDS: No matter how hard life gets never go to suicide, because one day this will all be over and you'll be happy you're alive. It's hard to see things like that but the best is yet to come, just wait.

Call hotlines on our page if you feel suicidal. They'll help you.

Alexis

Hi my name is Alexis. I've been threw so much in the last year with bullies. I've been bullied in person,cyber bullied and I've seen people be bullied. I'm a freshmen for the second time this year. Last year I was bullied for all different kind of reasons. I was bullied on the people I hung out with. If I didn't hang out with the "cool" kids I was made fun of. I was told that I was worthless. I've had people get in my face and scream at me. But the one thing that I did that I didn't read in any other stories is I stood up for myself.. I told them what they needed to hear. At first this kid was my best friend and he started bullying me. He called me so many inappropriate names, when we were best friends before he started bullying me he told me he would never hit a girl. I didn't. He got multiple girls to surround me on my way to lunch. I told them that they need to get out of my way and that them surrounding me was the "uncoolest" thing they can do! After that I completely ignored them. I was still bullied but not as much. When I moved everyone realized that when we were friends I was always there for them I got calls from people apologizing and with some of them I'm  closer than ever!
I think sticking up for yourself is the best thing you can do because it shows the bully that your not afraid of them.
Whenever I see a kid getting bullied I always stick up for them, because I know what it is like to be called inappropriate names like that. I know what it feel like I would do anything to help them because I don't think anyone should have to go threw being bullied!

Will

Hello. My name is Will. I am 14 year old hiker, runner, and boy scout and I was bullied as well. These bullies weren’t as bad as others but they did traumatize me.

I have a disorder called Aspergers Syndrome. A minor form of Autism. I think differently from others and find it hard to be social. Since first grade. I have always been known as the nerd with his nerdy friends doing nerdy things. I could of been in the cool kid sports group but sports wasn’t really my thing. I loved video games and Youtube. I’ve had 2 very close friends who were twins. Karen, My best friend and Tarik, My 2nd best friend. Ever since I moved to my new school in 3rd grade. We met each other and had a close relationship. Our Semi popular group was made of 6 people. Me,Kaden,Tarik,Chase,Evan, and Dylan. I loved going to school to see them and even better, having the whole gang come over, play Minecraft, and eat pizza all night. But in 6th grade. That all changed. I was going through the change to adulthood and found different interests. I was done with Lego and Minecraft. But The others weren’t. Then one day. The group just wanted to ditch me right up in my face.I was heartbroken I didn’t know what to do. That was just the beginning. The group of 5 started to torment me. They knew about my Aspergers and used it to their advantage. They always played the same games I played at recess and always target me to get me out and find a way for me to lose. They called me terrible names. some curse words,some like Little Miss Boy Scout, Jerk, Stupid, Nerd and so on.They stole my lunch, ran away and chased me, and spread sexual rumors about me. I was driven to the point of insanity and when I got back from school one day I ran to my room and cried like crazy. My only source of friends, gone. I stayed in my room drowning in tears for what seemed like hours. I then decided to go on Minecraft to calm me down. I remember playing On Minecraft when Chase logged on, bragged about a sleepover that I wasn’t invited to, and said it was my fault. I then talked with my Mom she encouraged me to find a new group, With a few kids. My new best friend named Jaden. He Stood up to me when I was bullied and defended me. He invited me to play games and when Kaden and his group came to torment me, Jaden told them to screw off. I finally felt good knowing I had a real friend. I am now In 8th grade With new friends who like me for who I am. Kaden and Tarik moved to a different school. Chase tried to bully me in the beginning of 7th grade. But I got him out of the way. He now hangs out with a group of troublemakers. I barely see Evan and Dylan admitted his wrongdoing and we became band partners. Everything worked out great in the end and that is my story

Marisela

Hi my name is Marisela. I was bullied from 1st all the way to 5th grade. I'm in 11th grade now and i'm now 17, so it was a long time ago. But the scars from all those years of bullying are still there. I was a very quiet and shy kid so i guess that made me an easy target and i was treated pretty much like dirt. I should also mention my dad passed away when i was 6 and on top of that i was being bullied. When i got a little older i became depressed a lot and i never knew why. By the time i was 15 i realized i was feeling so depressed because i hadn't gotten over being bullied and i realized that i need to come to terms with that in order to move on with my life. You have to forgive because if you live with this hatred in our heart all your doing is hurting yourself. Forgiveness doesn't make what that person did to you right, forgiveness is for you so that you can move on and be happy. This process of forgiveness is something i'm still going through. I'm over the bullying for the most part but as for the people who hurt me its gonna take longer for me to forgive them for that. From my experience i've learned so much and its made me such a strong person. And i have to give a huge thanks to my family who love me unconditionally especially my mom she's everything to me. I've come a long way and my life is doing pretty good right now. If your being bullied please stay strong because life has so much in store for you and you won't want to miss out on it.

Curtis

Hey my name is William but I go by Curtis. My dad is active military and was deployed for most of my younger years. We moved about every 2-3 years so making friends was more an more difficult and people seemed to think the new kid was an easy target to pick on. So from 3rd grade and on I was bullied for any an every reason. I was small, skinny, had big teeth, had a military style backpack, had a high voice, etc. Life was an awful thing to love everyday and there are so many time I wanted to quit. Just end it all. I cried everyday and tried to do anything I could to just fit in. I tried laying low, I tried hiding, and even football because football players are popular. I got -2 yards and a concussion because they put me, an 87 pound freshman at fullback against a 280 pound Samoan. He then told me "you are too small to ever amount to anything in sports". Here comes the best part. I moved to Arizona as a sophomore in HS. clean slate. No one knew me. Perfect. I saw a quote online saying how wrestling is the only sport where you can be a champion no matter how small you are. I was Hooked. I laid low and let my actions in the sport speak for themselves. I worked hard everyday spilling blood, sweat an tears with a smile. Kids at my school pointed at me "that's the kid that's the state champ" or "that's the national champion" and "he broke the _____ record." I loved it. People looked up to me. Spoke highly of me. It was an addiction. Now, I wrestle NCAA d2 with my college paid for and the last kid who bullied me served me my burger at in-and-out.

Ceyanne

Hi, my name is Ceyanne (pronounced See-Anne)

It all began in the 2nd grade, I was about 3 years old my aunt brought a dog home, and one day the dog completely turned on me. Ripped up my face. I started to heal before I began school, but I still had visible scares I'm my forehead, on my cheeks. About my 2nd month at school, I started to get called names like scareface, ugly, hideous, ect. And because I was Native American, it made it worse because kids were telling me "go back the reservation! We're you belong!" It continued through out Elementry School, I never told anyone because I thought nobody understood. It wasn't all that bad during Jr. High, but now I started to lose self confidence, I saw all these  beautiful girls I was going to school with and here I was a four eyed scared faced girl that no one noticed. Still, I kept everything to myself. When people would tell me I would be prettier if I didn't have any scares on my face, I would try so hard to brush it off but I jus ended up crying and all they said was "I'm jus saying."  I grew up in a Christian home, my grandfather is a pastor and when I couldn't hold it in any longer I cried to him telling him everything I was going through, and he told me "You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. God made everybody the same, he loves us all the same keep your self in his hands sweetheart, and I promise your world, everything you are. Will be jus fine." You see, God is with us always. What we go through, he endures with us, when you feel lonely he will be there guiding us, showing us that there's more to beauty than just a good looking face. I still continue to be self conscious, but I have way too much self respect to listen to what other people say about my appearance. PLEASE don't wait too long to tell someone about what you're going though, you may think there's nobody who will listen to you but i promise you there are more people who go through what you're going though everyday. Reach out, talk to someone, and everything will be okay. I PINKY promise. Stay Beautiful.

Love,
Ceyanne

Taylor

Hello my Name is Taylor and this is my bully story. I apologize in advance while writing this things may be spelled wrong or bad grammar because this story is hard for me to share. I know its hard but if this helps at least one person I know I did my part.

           tIt starts off in elementary kindergarten to be exact. I was considered "different" the kids didn't like the way I looked sounded and etc. They would leave me out of any activities on the playground and made fun of me often. In first grade it didn't get much better I was still treated the same and no one wanted to be my friend. In second grade it was still the same except now I was writing and didn't get the best grades because the teacher took points off for my letters touching, kids started calling me a dumb blonde and at some point I started to believe I was, I acted sounded and pretty much seemed dumb because they made me believe I was. By this point I was no longer myself, I use to be bubbly, fun, shy, quiet apart until I was comfortable with you, always had a smile on my face. By second grade I had stopped doing all of those things, never talked to anyone, never wanted to smile I closed myself off. Third grade I got treated like dirt, I was in speech class and couldn't read on my grade level was struggling with math, reading, and every other subject, even though I struggled I still never got less than a B, I just had to put in a lot of extra work and I was bullied for it. People found out I didn't live with my mom, only my dad and step mom. Fourth grade came along and I was bullied for the fact my mom and dad weren't together. Was told I end up just like my low life brother, just like my mom. My P.E. teacher started to bully me calling me rude names, calling me fat even though I was extremely small for my age because I always have been. In fifth grade I thought it had gone away but nothing changed I was picked on for the fact I got tutored in math after school. I hated school, hated everything, was treated so badly I just wanted out, I never spoke up because I didn't know who to tell. I was beyond myself I even stopped being myself at home, my parents wanted to fix it but didn't know what was wrong or how to fix it. Finally middle school came along. Sixth grade I got glasses and was called four eyes. I was told I was still a stupid blonde and I still believed it. I wasn't happy just went through the days, one day at a time. It was hard going through hearing people call you names, "Stupid" "Ugly" "Anorexic" "Bulimic" you see I'm not anorexic or bulimic I'm just very tiny. I was never myself and I didn't know how to be, I lost who I was. Then a TV show came out and they were also a band, now known as my favorite band, Big Time rush, they started to slowly bring me back. They made me happy, I would smile, started to be bubbly at home again. Then seventh grade came along, seventh grade was one of my hardest years. My close friend had moved back and I was happy. The bullying never stopped though, only got worse. The names got worse they became things like "S**" "W****" got called the B word often. I was told I had no friends. One day I was being bullied bad at school told I was hideous, ugly. I went home crying, I sat on my bed crying I put my music on shuffle and just let it play and let my thoughts run wild. I though "What if I killed myself, everything would be better" before my thoughts could go any further Cover Girl by Big Time Rush had come on, stopping my thoughts. Another day I was ignored all day, even by teachers, was pushed and shoved out of the way I was invisible. I went home crying again that same day I put my music on shuffle and the same thoughts occurred "What if I killed myself, everything would be better" just as those thoughts crossed again Invisible By Big Time Rush came on stopping me once again. A third time I was felling helpless so alone like no one cared, I went home bawling. Those same thoughts occurred and the song You're Not Alone by Big Time Rush came on this time stopping me making me listen to the lyrics and I realized I wasn't alone, that night I got saved at church. I can honestly say if it weren't for those songs coming on those days I wouldn't be here sharing my story. This is not the end of my story, it continues. In eighth grade their was a girl she was in my art class she was horrible to me. Everyday she would say something cruel to me. Telling me things like "Stupid" "Ugly" "You have no friends" "No one loves you" it continued all year long. One day one of my best friends moved away another stopped talking to me because we were fighting then my main best friend dropped me said we were no longer friends. I was so hurt and that day this girl ran her mouth told me I had no friends and never would. When I told the counselors about the bullying, they told me "Get over it, it happens to everyone." "Girls are just being girls" one time I went to them about my friends who were bullying me, yes after wards I was no longer friends with them, all they told me was "Get over it make new friends, and maybe if you weren't so horrible and annoying they wouldn't treat you that way" They brought in the girls bullying me but it never did anything, made everything worse actually. It became cyber bullying. So finally I went to the principal. They didn't do anything either. Ninth grade came along and the bullying felt like it wasn't bad, I was wrong I was going through my freshman year all alone. Bullied. I was bullied in choir, my safe place, and I was told they didn't like me and that I couldn't sing and shouldn't be in honor choir. I went home hurt a lot of the time. I never made friends with the older ones in show choir, the rest of the freshman honor choir became friends with the older classes men in show choir. My sophomore year came around and again thought it would be a good year, boy was I wrong. My choir safe place,I was bullied I was in Women's Honor choir now, I wanted to drop choir so many times that year. I was told I couldn't sing and that I should drop it, by fellow classmates. I went home that day crying, I had a lock-in at the school that night. I was at home crying my eyes out, telling everyone on my Facebook I was done. Then I started thinking suicide and of ways to do it and said to myself "NO" started texting people not telling them something was wrong just to chat, I started playing my music and the song You're Not Alone by Big Time Rush came on and some of the lyrics are "You're not alone girl look over your shoulder" and I have no idea why but I looked over my shoulder and behind me was a Big Time Rush poster and it made me think "Wow after everything you want to die, no" One of my friends ended up calling me and I told them I wanted to do that and he kept my mind off of it. Throughout the year I was bullied but I had a teacher I was able to go to. I'm now a junior and I walk into school scared, I have anxiety with it everyday. Its become a danger zone for me. I'm a victim of bullying of all kinds and I still struggle. I'm not hear to say it gets better because from my experience it still hasn't but I can say it gets easier, you find ways to cope. This is My Story and I hope this helps someone.   

Tori


Hi, my name is Tori and I would be a so-called "veteran" of bullying. I can't remember when it started honestly, but for a big part of my life, I was as very poor. For two years straight, I lived in a camper with my baby sister and both parents, and I would have to get dressed at morning in the complete darkness, so my clothes were dirty and never matched. My hair was always ratted and messy, my teeth were yellowed and crooked, I had cheap glasses, and all-around looked unhygienic. Those who didn't make fun of me pretended I wasn't there. I was called every name you could imagine, and every night I would go home to my camper and cry myself to sleep silently and wish I could wake up pretty just like everyone else, but as I woke up, it never happened. As we moved into an actual house over time, I was always moving into a new rented house, and at each one, I was still the loser. It hurts when people make digs at you, but it's just as hurtful when everyone pretends you aren't there. Last year I finally snapped and decided to just end it all because it would never get better. I took a bottle of Aspirin and went to the hospital. I have been depressed and occasionally still do have it, but I realized not to care what other people thought of me, as cliché as that sounds, because I am who I am. And I'm proud to be a big-eyed short scrawny braceface because I know that there will never be another me

Maya

Hello, my name is Maya! As you read this you may not think it is as bad as some other stories or your own. Well, anyways, I started school at an early age, well it was like day care but we mostly learned. I attended a private catholic school until the end of 3rd grade. I did not encounter any bullying there but my mom could not afford to send me there anymore so that is why I left. 4th grade had finally come I was terrified to go to a new school mainly because it was a public school 2x the size of my old school. My first day was not so bad I was just really scared and I even got lost but thankfully my mom works there. towards the middle of the year people started pick on me because of my size, I was very short because of bone growth delay ( that is when your bones don’t grow as fast as they should) I was pretty used to it because of my old school and outside activities. It was different there thought because it was more than one person and more than once in a while. People would also call me a “ squeaky short dumb Asian”. Not all of the time but it still hurt. This was the year my friend from my old school died from cancer a day after my birthday. I had to leave early to go to her funeral. That also ruined my school year on top of that, one of my only friends had been stolen away by a girl who’s twin sister had been very mean to me. 

  In middle school I was stuck with the same people because I go to a k-8 school thankfully that resulted in me having a good number of friends, but in 6th grade that was the year I found out ( after being tested) I had 3 disabilities. School was really hard for me I would still get A’s and B’s but I would just slip by, I also had a sleeping disorder so I would come to school exhausted making learning a greater challenge, my mom was/is dyslexic so it was difficult for her to help me and my dad left my mom and me when she was pregnant (with me) returned after my birth then left again when I was 4 so he couldn't help me. Once in 6th grade I was partnered with a kid who had mildly bullied me in 4th grade, in math class we had to do a certain amount of math problems timed, he would be finished before me and he called stupid, slow, an idiot, a dumb Asian. He did this for the whole class period, I almost cried but I held in my tears and I have been doing that a lot that would cause me stress and anxiety. To make myself feel better with all the other names including ugly, stupid, small, and fat I would scratch and dig my nails in my arms and hands ( I have really long nails).

  Bullying in my current grade (7th) has not been that bad I am on medication for my ADHD and it helps but it makes me angry, I have never really had any physical bullying, but sometimes I would come home with bruises from walking in the hall, getting back from lunch is HELL the fist classrooms are the 8th graders so they would push and shove and sometimes they would push other people into me. I have reported past bullying and the teachers have reacted by punishing the kid who did it. I don't really have that problem anymore, well not yet anyway. Boys still call me ugly but I don’t really care and I have lots of friends to help me. Thank you for taking time to read this long story I have more but that would take way too long. If I insulted anyone in any way with this story I am so sorry and I want to say to the people who have had much worse than this you are special you do matter everyone plays a part in this crazy life but we need to live it so we will have a happy ending ( cheesy I know). Thanks and I give my love and respect to you!

Gemma

My name is Gemma. I have been bullied for most of my life. And I've never spoken about it until now, 15 years after it first started.
I've literally faced bullying for as long as I can remember; at least since pre-school. I had three very good friends, one of whom was a boy. I was never pretty, even as a kid, or athletic. Kids teased me mercilessly for it. I cried easily. I remember one day we had a substitute teacher who was telling us a story. The kids started teasing me in front of her until I cried. I asked her in front of everyone to make them stop, but she simply shook her head as if in disappointment.

When I got to primary school, I thought it would be okay, but it was so much worse. I can't remember everything from earlier years, but around grade 3 and up is when it got really bad.

I was always a tomboy. Mainly because I didn't have a skinny figure like other girls. I kept my hair relatively short and wore baggy clothes. Because of this, I didn't fit in. When I tried to do something about my appearance, be more girly, it was even worse. They called me a freak. They said I would be better off dead. They made up songs about me. Two particularly popular ones were, "G-E-M-M-A, Gemma makes the straight guys gay," and "Look at me, I'm Gemma (last name), lousy with stupidity. Won't go to bed till I'm legally dead. I can't, I'm Gemma (last name). They would tease me if I liked someone, and tease someone else if they liked me. Sometimes, it got physical. The worst was when a boy yanked my school bag off me so hard it took the skin off my arms.

In high school, I went to an all girls school. Some girls from my primary school also went there, but they ignored me almost completely. It was there that I met Hanna and Carla, the two worst influences of my life. They befriended me, but would tease me and laugh at me behind my back. Both smoked and drank and tried to be "bad girls," while I always tried to be good. They teased me even more for this. Halfway through my first year, I met my best friend, Lexi. She never gave in to them, and always stood up for me. Even still, I became anorexic and clinically depressed, which I still struggle with. In grade 10, I started going out with the ex of one of my friends. In the space of a week, she'd turned everyone in the grade against me, even though she didn't really like him. I got called a w****, a s***, a b****. When we broke up, it was sweet revenge for her. I lost all my friends except for Lexi. Carla even facebooked me saying what a worthless person I was.

After years, I'd finally had enough. I told the girl I was sick and tired of it, and she backed off. In fact, we're actually best friends again. Anthony and I got back together, and have now been dating for over 6 months. He makes me strong, and makes me feel beautiful, even though I don't deserve it. I'm studying art, first year, at the top school in the country. I graduated from high school with 2 distinctions and am hoping for another when the re-marks are back. The bullies graduated at an average level. Carla, last I heard, was a drop out and Hanna fell pregnant at 17.

I could say so much about what I went through, and I still carry so much anger with me, especially towards girls who think they can be mean because they're more popular or prettier than other girls. I tried so many times to stand up for myself, but ignoring it was always what made it worse. Never ignore it. Stand up for yourself and others. Talk to teachers. Talk to parents. Make people see who is the victim. Remember, being a victim does not make you weak, but being hopeful makes you strong.

Angel

Hi, im Angel and im 18 years old. Well my story about being bullied all started in 6th grade, I was getting picked on because I was to tiny for my age. Then I started getting picked on for the guys I would date, they would call me harsh names n some very bad words, I think everyone knows what im talking about, then I started getting made fun of because I got jumped in 6th grade and expelled from a school and had to change schools, when I change schools people were spreading rumors about me and cyberbullying me telling me to go kill myself n such, then 7th grade year came around and the bullying got worse I had people wanting to fight me and jump me for even trying to talk to kids, I told adults like school officials sadly they did not take action. I even told my parents but they didnt believe me. In 8th grade everything was ok. 9th grade year came around and I gotten really sick over the summer so I was skinny so I got called names such as scranny, toothpick, stick, and ect. 10th grade year I got called down to my bestfriends well use to be bestfriends house and got jumped by 1 girl and 4 guys. Then 11th grade I finally made some good friends and the bullying kinda got semi ok except for the rumors and people calling me really mean words and telling lies on me. Around 11th grade year I then started having thoughts of cutting never really tried but once with my finger nails it hurt so I stopped. Now im in 12th grade year and I have made a facebook page to stop bullying and writing my senior research paper on bullying I wanna help others who have been bullied or is getting bullied I think bullying needs to be stop and schools should start taking action, are schools are always on the news for bullying but nothing is done. Well that is pretty much my whole story and the advice I give you is dont listen to what people say, you are beautiful in your own way. And still to this day im bullied but I kinda got use to it except for the depression and the crying myself to sleep part. Well thats it.

~ Angel ♥♡♥♡ 

☆stay strong★

Mikayla

i have been bullied since i was young. on my first day of kindergarten i came home with a black eye crying because i got punched in the face by a 2nd grader. In first grade i was called a loser because i had a hard time making friends and because i was short. in second grade it got worse! i was bigger then the other kids and i was "FAT" kids gave me nicknames like "Big Fat Loser" and "Chubby" .  and year by year day by day hour by hour the taunting got worse. But I learned to deal with it. the first time i spoke up i was so glad i did! im still emotionally scared  by those experiences. and now see a therapist every week. i learned that bulling can make a person die inside. if your a bully STOP THE HATRED YOU ARE CAUSING. my bulling got so bad one time i tried to hurt my self. just remember that god loves you and if you ignore the bully and tell someone it will stop. trust me it worked for me.

~ Mikayla Age 13

Gerrika

Hi, my name is Gerrika and I am 14 years old and in the 8th grade. I have been bullied constantly throughout my life. But it all got worse in 8th grade. When I came to school one day my best friend came up to me, looking worried and scared. I asked her what was wrong and a tear went down her cheek. She took out her iPad and showed me some pictures. Some person decided that it would be funny to start a Facebook paged called "Gerrika The S---" and acting like he/she was me. It got around and everyone was saying "Aww there goes the girl that that happened to." They felt sorry for me. I hate it when people feel sorry for me. I wanted it to go away. So I ignored it. But then people were saying that I was the one doing it. They said I was just trying to get attention. But really. Do you think I wanted this? Do you think I wanted everyone to feel sorry for me? But people were sticking up for me. I really want to stop bullying; physically, verbally, and cyber. Please stop. No one deserves this. No one. <3

Shauna

It still hurts to say this but my name is Shauna and I have gotten through an abusive relationship and being bullied in middle school.  Not once did I ever think that I would be the one that got bullied. I had a lot of confidence and a high self-esteem at the time. I had so many friends and I was happy! Until the 6th grade hit. I still remember my first day, terrified of my new school and I didn’t know what was to come. It all started with a boy on my bus! Constantly harassing and teasing me in the morning and afternoons. I realized I was getting bullied when he smacked my sandwich out of my hand, stepped on it, and then through at my face. At this point I was beginning to feel alone so when a boy asked me out I said yes. He was so sweet, kind, funny, and handsome at FIRST! Then the third month into our relationship he changed. He started to make rude jokes about me and tease me. Then one day by my local library when I told him I wasn’t in the mood to hang out he shoved me against the brick building. I was completely shocked! How could this happen to me! We started yelling and arguing so I walked away into the library! These were my first two experiences! The bullying got worst! The original person that was bullying me got at least 13  other people to bully me. It was depressing and lonely being me. I was still dating Noah and by this time I knew I was getting abused. It started off being every couple weeks, to every week, and eventually everyday! I was afraid of him. I had bruises and marks up and down my body! I was able to hide it because I have eczema. My parents never knew and I wasn’t planning on telling them. 7 months went by and I finally broke up with him and got one of my last beatings. I can’t even imagine seeing him today. Though back to the bullying situation, by the time 6th grade was over I knew that my life was not going to be the same as elementary school and the happy and joyful Shauna was gone. My 7th grade year my dad was gone a lot and I was getting bullied constantly everyday at least 4-5 times a day. I was miserable! I was helpless! I was depressed... This was the year that I decided that I wanted to end my pain and everybody else's. So one day after school I went into my medicine cabinet and took 3-6 pills of every type of pill that I could swallow! I remember crying and screaming, I was breathing so hard and my heart felt like it was going to come out of my chest. Luckily I only ended up getting very sick! By my 8th grade year I was very angry and mean to everybody! I hated everything and anything that I could possibly hate. I became the bully. I am ashamed of my actions and I know my past is not an excuse but I was hurting. My bullying situation got so bad that I didn’t eat in the lunchroom anymore. I sat in a teachers classroom and ate my lunch and worked. I was lonely! I was no longer Shauna! She was gone, and didn’t plan on coming back. I still took pills in the 8th grade but it wasn’t that many! I began to smoke pot and drink alcohol. It got rid of the pain for a short period of time and I just felt like I was okay until that high is over and you feel like you need more! I started to get sick again and started to become light headed all of the time and I always had a shortage of breath. But then my Lord and Savior saved me. Track! When I started track I was extremely skinny from not eating and taking pills, so I didn’t think I would be any good, but it turns out I was amazing. I was the fastest girl in the school! When I ran I didn’t think about anything! I felt free of the pain suffering! I was able to let go. It’s sad to say that my story doesn’t end well! At the end my family blamed me for getting abused and bullied and my own brother started bullying me in my own house but I'm stronger then ever before and I can fight my battles now!

~Shauna, a survivor

This article is about student-related bullying at school. For teacher-related bullying at school, see Bullying in teaching.

School bullying is a type of bullying that occurs in an educational setting.

Bullying without comprehensive definition, can be physical, verbal or emotional in nature, or it can occur online (cyberbullying). For an act to be considered bullying it must meet certain criteria. This includes hostile intent, imbalance of power, repetition, distress, and provocation. Bullying can have a wide spectrum of effects on a student including anger, depression, stress and suicide. Additionally, the bully can develop different social disorders or have a higher chance of engaging in criminal activity.

If there is suspicion that a child is being bullied or is a bully, there are warning signs in their behavior. There are many programs and organizations worldwide which provide bullying prevention services or information on how children can cope if they have been bullied.

Definition[edit]

There is no universal definition of school bullying; however, it is widely agreed that bullying is a subcategory of aggressive behavior characterized by the following three minimum criteria:[2]

  • hostile intent (i.e., the harm caused by bullying is deliberate, not accidental),[3]
  • imbalance of power (i.e., bullying includes a real or perceived power inequity between the bully and the victim),[3] and
  • repetition over a period of time (i.e., more than once with the potential to occur multiple times).[3]

The following two additional criteria have been proposed to complement the above-mentioned criteria:

  • victim distress (victim suffers mild to severe psychological, social or physical trauma)[3] and
  • provocation (bullying is motivated by perceived benefits of their aggressive behaviors).[3]

Some of these characteristics have been disputed (e.g., for power imbalance: bullies and victims often report that conflicts occur between two equals); nevertheless, they remain widely established in the scientific literature.[2]

Underlying causes[edit]

The underlying causes of school violence and bullying include gender and social norms and wider contextual and structural factors.[4]

Discriminatory gender norms that shape the dominance of men and the subservience of women and the perpetuation of these norms through violence are found in some form in many cultures. Gender inequality and the prevalence of violence against women in society exacerbate the problem. Similarly, social norms that support the authority of teachers over children may legitimise the use of violence to maintain discipline and control.[4]

The pressure to conform to dominant gender norms is also high.[5] Young people who cannot or who choose not to conform to these norms are often punished for this through violence and bullying at school.[4]

Schools themselves can "teach" children to be violent through discriminatory practices, curricula and textbooks. If unchecked, gender discrimination and power imbalances in schools can encourage attitudes and practices that subjugate children, uphold unequal gender norms and tolerate violence, including corporal punishment.[4]

Some attribute part of the cause of bullying to the atmosphere in which it occurs. Thornberg and Knutsen state in their study, "School attributing refers to attributing the cause of bullying to the school setting." They say that school attributing has two subcategories which are "boredom in school" and “poor antibullying practices". Boredom in school involves a student who does not have anything else to do other than bully. Poor antibullying practices may include teachers and staff not caring enough to intervene, or a school not having enough teachers for students. This may lead to the students feeling unwanted or unimportant due to the lack of care from the school's staff.[6]

Schools and the education system also operate within the context of wider social and structural factors and may reflect and reproduce environments that do not protect children and adolescents from violence and bullying. For example, physical and sexual violence may be more prevalent in schools in contexts where it is also more prevalent in wider society. Studies suggest that sexual violence and harassment of girls is worse in schools where other forms of violence are prevalent, and in conflict and emergency contexts,[7] and that gang violence is more common in schools where gangs, weapons and drugs are part of the local culture.[4]

In their paper "Predicting Bullying: Exploring the Contributions of Childhood Negative Life Experiences in Predicting Adolescent Bullying Behavior," Connell, Morris and Piquero identify three primary aspects of a child’s life- family, school and peers- as major indicators to whether or not that child exhibits behavior akin to bullying.[8]

Effects[edit]

A victim, in the short term, may feel depressed, anxious, angry, have excessive stress, learned helplessness, feel as though their life has fallen apart, have a significant drop in school performance, or may commit suicide (bullycide). In the long term, they may feel insecure, lack trust, exhibit extreme sensitivity (hypervigilant), or develop a mental illness such as psychopathy, avoidant personality disorder or PTSD. They may also desire vengeance, sometimes leading them to torment others in return.[9]

Anxiety, depression and psychosomatic symptoms are common among both bullies and their victims. Among these participants alcohol and substance abuse are commonly seen later in life.[10] It is known that people suffering from depression feel much better when they talk to others about it, but victims of bullying fear may not talk to others about their feelings in fear of being bullied, which can worsen their depression.[11]

In the short term, being a bystander "can produce feelings of anger, fear, guilt, and sadness.... Bystanders who witness repeated victimizations of peers can experience negative effects similar to the victimized children themselves."[12]

While most bullies, in the long term, grow up to be emotionally functional adults, many have an increased risk of developing antisocial personality disorder, which is linked to an increased risk of committing criminal acts (including domestic violence).[13]

Negative impact on educational quality and outcomes[edit]

The educational effects on victims of school violence and bullying are significant. Violence and bullying at the hands of teachers or other students may make children and adolescents afraid to go to school and interfere with their ability to concentrate in class or participate in school activities. It can also have similar effects on bystanders.[4]

The consequences include missing classes, avoiding school activities, playing truant or dropping out of school altogether. This in turn has an adverse impact on academic achievement and attainment and on future education and employment prospects. Children and adolescents who are victims of violence may achieve lower grades and may be less likely to anticipate going on to higher education. Analyses of international learning assessments highlight the impact of bullying on learning outcomes. These analyses clearly show that bullying reduces students’ achievement in key subjects, such as mathematics, and other studies have documented the negative impact of school violence and bullying on educational performance.[14][4]

Bystanders and the school climate as a whole are also affected by school violence and bullying. Unsafe learning environments create a climate of fear and insecurity and a perception that teachers do not have control or do not care about the students, and this reduces the quality of education for all.[4]

Social and economic costs[edit]

The 2006 UN World Report on Violence against Children shows that victims of corporal punishment, both at school and at home, may develop into adults who are passive and over-cautious or aggressive. Involvement in school bullying can be a predictor of future antisocial and criminal behaviour. Being bullied is also linked to a heightened risk of eating disorders and social and relationship difficulties.[15][4]

Other studies have shown the longer-term effects of bullying at school. One study of all children born in England, Scotland and Wales during one week in 1958 analyzes data on 7,771 children who had been bullied at ages 7 and 11. At age 50, those who had been bullied as children were less likely to have obtained school qualifications and less likely to live with a spouse or partner or to have adequate social support. They also had lower scores on word memory tests designed to measure cognitive IQ even when their childhood intelligence levels were taken into account and, more often reported, that they had poor health. The effects of bullying were visible nearly four decades later, with health, social and economic consequences lasting well into adulthood. For children, “peers are a much more important influence than has been realised. It is a terrible thing to be excluded by your peers”.[16][4]

The economic impact of violence against children and adolescents is substantial.[17] Youth violence in Brazil alone is estimated to cost nearly US$19 billion every year, of which US$943 million can be linked to violence in schools. The estimated cost to the economy in the USA of violence associated with schools is US$7.9 billion a year.[18][4]

Analytic work supported by the United States Agency for International Development (USAID) shows that school-related gender-based violence alone can be associated with the loss of one primary grade of schooling, which translates to an annual cost of around US$17 billion to low- and middle-income countries.[19][4]

In the East Asia and Pacific region, it is estimated that the economic costs of just some of the health consequences of child maltreatment were equivalent to between 1.4% and 2.5% of the region’s annual GDP.[4]

In Argentina, the forgone benefit to society from overall early school dropout is 11.4% of GDP, and in Egypt, nearly 7% of potential earnings is lost as a result of the number of children dropping out of school.[4]

A study has shown that each year Cameroon, Democratic Republic of Congo and Nigeria lose US$974 million, US$301 million and US$1,662 million respectively for failing to educate girls to the same standard as boys, and violence in school is one of the key factors contributing to the under-representation of girls in education.[20][4]

Statistics[edit]

According to the American Psychological Association, "40% to 80% of school-age children experience bullying at some point during their school careers."[21] Various studies show that students from lower socioeconomic backgrounds experience bullying more often than other students.[22] The following statistics help illustrate the severity of bullying within classrooms:[21]

Victims[edit]

  • Statistics show that 1 in 3 children are affected by bullying in their lifetime in the U.S. school system, and 30% report being involved in some manner.[23]
  • A nationwide survey of bullying in first and second level schools conducted by Trinity College Dublin estimates that some 31% of primary and 16% of secondary students have been bullied at some time.[24]
  • In a 1997 study of five Seattle high schools, students recorded their peers' hallway and classroom conversations. It was discovered that the average high school student hears about 25 anti-gay remarks a day.[25]
  • In a study conducted across 32 Dutch elementary schools, 16.2% of the 2,766 participating children reported being bullied regularly (at least several times a month).[26]
  • At least 1 in 3 adolescent students in Canada has reported being bullied.[27]
  • 47% of Canadian parents report having a child who is a victim of bullying.[27]
  • Students who are homosexual, bisexual, or transgender are five times as likely to miss school because they feel unsafe after being bullied due to their sexual orientation.[28]
  • According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the percentage of gay, lesbian, and bisexual students who did not go to school at least one day during the 30 days preceding the survey due to safety concerns ranged from 11% to 30% for gay and lesbian students and 12% to 25% for bisexual students.[29]
  • 61.1% of LGBT middle- or high-school students were more likely than their non-LGBT peers to feel unsafe or uncomfortable as a result of their sexual orientation.[29]
  • In a Canadian study that surveyed 2,186 students across 33 middle and high schools, 49.5% reported being bullied online in the previous three months. 33.7% of the sample reported being the perpetrator of cyberbullying.[30]
  • The most common form of cyberbullying involved receiving threatening or aggressive emails or instant messages, reported by 73% of victims.[27]
  • In the United States, a 2013 nationwide survey indicated that 20% of high school students were bullied on school property in the past year, 15% of the students were bullied electronically, and 8% of students ages 12–18 reported ongoing bullying on a weekly basis.[31]
  • Higher education students keep silent about the torment because they are expected to handle the issue as an adult, however it requires a support system.
  • According to the journal Evolutionary Psychological Science, victims of bullying are more likely to be sexually inactive compared to bullies.[32]

Statistics referencing the prevalence of bullying in schools may be inaccurate and tend to fluctuate. In a U.S. study of 5,621 students ages 12–18, 64% of the students had experienced bullying and did not report it.[33]

Bullies[edit]

Proactive aggression is a behavior that expects a reward. With bullying each individual has a role to defend.[clarification needed] Some children act proactively but will show aggression to defend themselves if provoked. These children will react aggressively but tend to never be the ones to attack first.

There have been two subtypes created in bully classification; popular aggressive and unpopular aggressive. Popular aggressive bullies are social and do not encounter a great deal of social stigma from their aggression. Unpopular aggressive bullies, however, are most often rejected by other students and use aggression to seek attention.[23]

  • In a recent national survey 3,708,284 students reported being a perpetrator of bullying in the U.S. school system.[23]
  • Studies have shown bullies actually report more success in making friends than other children.
  • Bullying behavior in perpatrators is shown to decrease with age.[34]
  • Developmental research suggests bullies are often morally disengaged and use egocentric reasoning strategies.[35]
  • Adolescents who experience violence or aggression in the home, or are influenced by negative peer relationships, are more likely to bully. This suggests that positive social relationships reduce the likelihood of bullying.[36]
  • The diagnosis of a mental health disorder is strongly associated with being a bully. This trend is most evident in adolescents diagnosed with depression, anxiety, or ADHD.[37]
  • Poor theory of mind is associated with bullying.[38]
  • 25% of students encourage bullying if not given proper education and information about the consequences of bullying.[39]
  • A study by Lisa Garby shows that 60% of bullies in middle school will have at least one criminal conviction by the age of 24.[40]

In a survey by the Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD), students were asked to complete a questionnaire.

A total of 10.6% of the children replied that they had sometimes bullied other children, a response category defined as moderate bullying. An additional 8.8% said they had bullied others once a week or more, defined as frequent bullying. Similarly, 8.5% said they had been targets of moderate bullying, and 8.4% said they were bullied frequently. Out of all the students, 13% said they had engaged in moderate or frequent bullying of others, while 10.6% said they had been bullied either moderately or frequently. Some students — 6.3% — had both bullied others and been bullied themselves. In all, 29% of the students who responded to the survey had been involved in some aspect of bullying, either as a bully, as the target of bullying or both.[41]

According to Tara Kuther, an associate professor of psychology at Western Connecticut State University, "...bullying gets so much more sophisticated and subtle in high school. It's more relational. It becomes more difficult for teens to know when to intervene; whereas with younger kids, bullying is more physical and, therefore, more clear-cut."[39]

Types of bullying[edit]

There are four basic types of bullying: verbal, physical, psychological, and cyber. Cyberbullying is becoming one of the most common types. While victims can experience bullying at any age, it is witnessed most often in school-aged children.

Direct bullying is a relatively open attack on a victim that is physical and/or verbal in nature.[12] Indirect bullying is more subtle and harder to detect, but involves one or more forms of relational aggression, including social isolation via intentional exclusion, spreading rumors to defame one's character or reputation, making faces or obscene gestures behind someone's back, and manipulating friendships or other relationships.[12]

Pack bullying is bullying undertaken by a group. The 2009 Wesley Report on bullying found that pack bullying was more prominent in high schools and lasted longer than bullying undertaken by individuals.[42]

Physical[edit]

See also: Physical abuse

Physical bullying is any unwanted physical contact between the bully and the victim. This is one of the most easily identifiable forms of bullying. Examples include:[43][44]

Emotional[edit]

See also: Psychological abuse

Emotional bullying is any form of bullying that causes damage to a victim’s psyche and/or emotional well-being. Examples include:[43][44]

  • Spreading malicious rumors about people
  • Getting certain people to "gang up" on others (this could also be considered physical bullying)
  • Ignoring people on purpose (via the silent treatment or pretending the victim is non-existent)
  • Provoking others
  • Belittling, making fun of people, or saying hurtful things (which are also forms of verbal bullying)[45]

Verbal[edit]

See also: Verbal abuse

Verbal bullying is any slanderous statements or accusations that cause the victim undue emotional distress. Examples include:[44]

Cyberbullying[edit]

Main article: Cyberbullying

According to the website Stop Cyberbullying, "Cyberbullying is when anyone is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted by another child, preteen or teen using the Internet, interactive and digital technologies or mobile phones."[47] This form of bullying can easily go undetected because of the lack of parental or authoritative supervision. Because bullies can pose as someone else, it is the most anonymous form of bullying. Cyberbullying includes abuse using email, blogs, instant messaging, text messaging, or websites. Many who are bullied in school are likely to be bullied over the Internet and vice versa.[44] Since students have become more reliant on internet, the advancement in social media and technology has altered the fear of in-person bullying away from schoolyards but has rather increase cyberbullying.[48] Studies have shown almost half of cyberbullies are repeat offenders and harass others as few at three times.[49] Males are more likely to be active cyberbullies than females. Cyberbullying can happen 24 hours a day and seven days a week and reach a child even when they are alone. Deleting inappropriate or harassing messages, texts or pictures is extremely difficult after being posted or sent.[50]

Prevention[edit]

According to the website Stop Cyberbullying, "When schools try and get involved by disciplining the student for cyberbullying actions that took place off campus and outside of school hours, they are often sued for exceeding their authority and violating the student's free speech right." [47] They suggest for schools to make revisions to their policies that would allow for disciplinary actions to take place even if off campus or after hours. They say if the act is likely to affect a student mentally or physically while in school then the revision of the policy would allow for the staff to intervene without violating the student's constitutional rights.

Cyberbullying has become extremely prevalent; 95% of teens who use social media reported having witnessed malicious behavior on social media from 2009 to 2013.[51] As sites like Facebook or Twitter offer no routine monitoring, children from a young age must learn proper internet behavior, say Abraham Foxman and Cyndi Silverman. "This is a call for parents and educators to teach these modern skills... through awareness and advocacy."[52] Per Scott Eidler, "Parents and educators need to make children aware at a young age of the life-changing effects cyberbullying can have on the victim. The next step for prevention is advocacy. For example, three high school students from Melville, New York organized a Bullying Awareness Walk, where several hundred people turned out to show their support."[53]

Clara Wajngurt writes, "Other than organizing events, calling for social media sites to take charge could make the difference between life and death. Cyberbullying is making it increasingly difficult to enforce any form of prevention."[54] Joanna Wojcik concludes, "The rapid growth of social media is aiding the spread of cyberbullying, and prevention policies are struggling to keep up. In order for prevention policies to be put in place, the definition of cyberbullying must be stated, others must be educated on how to recognize and prevent bullying, and policies that have already attempted to be enacted need to be reviewed and learned from."[55]

Researcher Charisse Nixon found that students do not reach out for help with cyberbullying for four main reasons: they do not feel connected to the adults around them; the students do not see the cyberbullying as an issue that is worth bringing forward; they do not feel the surrounding adults have the ability to properly deal with the cyberbullying; and the teenagers have increased feelings of shame and humiliation regarding the cyberbullying.[56] Nixon also found that when bystanders took action in helping end the cyberbullying in adolescents, the results were more positive than when the adolescents attempted to resolve the situation without outside help.[56]

Sexual bullying[edit]

Main article: Sexual bullying

Sexual bullying is "any bullying behavior, whether physical or non-physical, that is based on a person’s sexuality or gender. It is when sexuality or gender is used as a weapon by boys or girls towards other boys or girls—although it is more commonly directed at girls. It can be carried out to a person’s face, behind their back or through the use of technology."[57]

As part of its research into sexual bullying in schools, the BBC TV series Panorama commissioned a questionnaire aimed at people aged 11 to 19 in schools and youth clubs across five regions of England.[58] The survey revealed that of the 273 respondents, 28 had been forced to do something sexual, and 31 had seen it happen to someone else. Of the 273 respondents, 40 had experienced unwanted touching.[59] U.K. government figures show that in the 2007–2008 school year, there were 3,450 fixed-period exclusions and 120 expulsions from schools in England due to sexual misconduct.[60] This included incidents such as groping and using sexually insulting language. From April 2008 to March 2009, ChildLine counselled a total of 156,729 children, 26,134 of whom spoke about bullying as a main concern and 300 of whom spoke specifically about sexual bullying.[61]

The U.K. charity Beatbullying has claimed that as gang culture enters, children are being bullied into providing sexual favours in exchange for protection.[62] However, other anti-bullying groups and teachers' unions, including the National Union of Teachers, challenged the charity to provide evidence of this.[62]

Sexting cases are also on the rise and have become a major source of bullying. The circulation of explicit photos of those involved either around school or the internet put the originators in a position to be scorned and bullied.[63] There have been reports of some cases in which the bullying has been so extensive that the victim has taken their life.[64]

Higher education bullying[edit]

According to HealthDay News, 15 percent of college students claim to have been victims of bullying while at college.[65] In the article, "Bullying not a thing of the past for college students," Kaitlyn Krasselt writes, "Bullying comes in all forms but is usually thought of as a K-12 issue that ceases to exist once students head off to college."[66] The misconception that bullying does not occur in higher education began to receive attention after the death of college student Tyler Clementi.

Power imbalance[edit]

Bullying is usually associated with an imbalance of power.[67] A bully has a perceived authority over another due to factors such as size, gender, or age.[68] Boys tend to bully peers based on the peer's physical weakness, short temper, friend group, and clothing. Bullying among girls, on the other hand, results from factors such as facial appearance, emotional factors, being overweight, and academic status.[69] Both sexes tend to target people with speech impediments of some sort (such as stutter).

Bullies often come from families that use physical forms of discipline.[70]

Locations[edit]

Bullying locations vary by context. Most bullying in elementary school happens in the playground. In middle school and high school, it occurs most in the hallways, which have little supervision. According to the U.S Department of Education's National Center for Education Statistics, more than 47% of kids reported getting bullied in hallways and stairway.[71] Bus stops and bus rides to and from school tend to be hostile environments as well; children tend to view the driver as someone with no disciplinary authority.[72]

Bullying may also follows people into adult life and university. Bullying can take over the lives of both lecturers and students, and can lead to supervisors putting pressure on students.[73] Bullying can happen in any place at any time.

Warning signs[edit]

Victims of bullying typically are physically smaller, more sensitive, unhappy, cautious, anxious, quiet, and withdrawn. They are often described as passive or submissive. Possessing these qualities make these individuals vulnerable, as they are seen as being less likely to retaliate.[70]

Signs that a child is being bullied include:[74][75]

  • Unexplainable injuries
  • Showing anxiety and post-traumatic stress
  • Lost or destroyed clothing
  • Changes in eating habits
  • Declining grades
  • Continual school absences
  • Self-injury
  • Suicidal tendencies
  • Becoming overly apologetic

Signs that a child is bullying others include:[74][75]

  • Getting into physical or verbal fights
  • Getting sent to the principal's office frequently
  • Having friends who bully others
  • Becoming increasingly aggressive in normal activities

Signs that a child has witnessed bullying include:[74][75]

  • Poor school behavior
  • Emotional disturbance
  • Depression
  • Post-traumatic stress
  • Drug and alcohol abuse
  • Suicidal tendencies

Roles[edit]

McNamee and Mercurio state that there is a "bullying triangle", consisting of the person doing the bullying, the person getting bullied, and the bystander.[76]

The US Department of Health and Human Services divides the people involved in bullying into several roles:[74]

  • Bully: student with social and/or physical power who repeatedly picks on another student or group of students with the intent to inflict harm or discomfort
  • Victim: the target of the bullying
  • Bystander: student who observes bullying; they may ignore it, encourage it, or defend the victim
  • Student who assists: does not start the bullying, but helps and is encouraged by surrounding peers to do so. They may feel that their social status will be damaged if they are not involved.
  • Student who reinforces: play a minor role in bullying, such as laughing at the bully's insults
  • Outsider: not involved in the bullying but witnesses it
  • Defendant: defends the victim or consoles them afterwards

In her book, The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander, Barbara Coloroso divides bullies into several types:[77]

  • The confident bully has a very high opinion of themselves and feels a sense of superiority over other students.
  • The social bully uses rumors, gossip, and verbal taunts to insult others. Social bullies are typically female and possess low self-esteem, and therefore try to bring others down.
  • The fully armored bully shows very little emotion and often bullies when no one will see or stop them.
  • The hyperactive bully typically has problems with academics and social skills. This student will often bully someone, then place the blame on someone else.
  • A bullied bully is usually someone who has been bullied in the past or is bullied by an older sibling.
  • A "bunch of bullies" (more often referred to as a "gang of bullies") is a group of friends who gang up on others for fun or due to their desire for power.

Complex cultural dynamics[edit]

Parsons identifies school bullying cultures as typically having a web of dynamics which are much more complex than just considering bullying amongst students. These dynamics include:[78]

  • Some students bully other students; some of these student bullies are themselves bullied by other student bullies; some of these student bullies bully teachers.
  • Some teachers bully students; some teacher bullies bully other teachers; some teacher bullies bully parents.
  • Some office staff bully teachers, students and parents.
  • Some principals bully teachers, office staff, students and parents.
  • Some parents bully teachers, office staff, principals, and even their own children.[79]

Common misconceptions[edit]

Researchers have identified many misconceptions regarding bullying:[80][81]

  • Bullying is a consequence of large class or school size.
  • Bullying is a consequence of competition for grades and failure in school.
  • Bullying is a consequence of poor self-esteem and insecurity.
  • Bullying is just teasing.
  • Some people deserve to be bullied.
  • Only boys are bullies.
  • Bullying is a normal part of growing up.
  • Bullies will go away if ignored.
  • The best way to deal with a bully is by fighting or trying to get even.
  • People who are bullied will only hurt for a while before recovering.
  • Bullying is thought of as a K-12 issue that ceases to exist once students enter college.[66]

Prevention[edit]

Studies have shown that bullying programs set up in schools with the help and engagements of staff and faculty have been shown to reduce peer victimization and bullying.[82] Incidences of bullying are noticeably reduced when the students themselves disapprove of bullying.[83]

Measures such as increasing awareness,[contradictory] instituting zero tolerance for fighting, or placing troubled students in the same group or classroom are actually ineffective in reducing bullying; methods that are effective include increasing empathy for victims; adopting a program that includes teachers, students, and parents; and having students lead anti-bullying efforts.[84][pages needed] Success is most associated with beginning interventions at an early age, constantly evaluating programs for effectiveness, and having some students simply take online classes to avoid bullies at school.[85]

One possible prevention and intervention for bullying is "positive behavioral interventions and supports" (PBIS). This is defined as a "framework for enhancing adoption of a continuum of evidence based interventions to achieve academically and behaviorally important outcomes for all students. PBIS seeks to improve school climate, reduce discipline issues, and support academic achievement."[86]

Legislation and court rulings[edit]

Main article: Anti-bullying legislation

This section needs expansion. You can help by adding to it.(September 2016)

United Kingdom[edit]

Section 89 of the Education and Inspections Act 2006 provides for an anti-bullying policy for all state schools to be made available to parents.

United States[edit]

The victims of some school shootings have sued both the shooters' families and the schools.[87] At one point only 23 states had Anti-Bullying laws. In 2015 Montana became the last state to have an anti-bullying law and at that point all 50 states had an anti-bullying law. These laws are not going to abolish bullying but it does bring attention to the behavior and it lets the aggressors know it will not be tolerated.[88]

Canada[edit]

In 2016, a legal precedent was set by a mother and her son, after the son was bullied at his public school. The mother and son won a court case against the Ottawa-Carleton District School Board, making this the first case in North America where a school board has been found negligent in a bullying case for failing to meet the standard of care (the "duty of care" that the school board owes to its students). A similar bullying case was won in Australia in 2013 (Oyston v. St. Patricks College).[89]

Taiwan[edit]

  • The Ministry of Education launched a serial of project. In 2006, they started the 'anti-bully plan'. In 2008, they launched the 'prevent bully video from public project', and also building multiple informants route, monitoring the school, in hope that it could improve the education quality.[90]

School shootings[edit]

Main article: School shootings

School bullying is associated with school shootings; the vast majority of students (87%) believe that shootings occur in direct retaliation to bullying.[91] School shooters who left behind evidence that they were bullied include Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold (perpetrators of the Columbine school shooting), Nathan Ferris, Edmar Aparecido Freitas, Brian Head, Seung-Hui Cho, Wellington Menezes Oliveira, Kimveer Gill, Karl Pierson, and Jeff Weise.[92][unreliable source?]

Events and organizations[edit]

Events and organizations which address bullying in schools include:

Fictional bullies[edit]

This section needs expansion. You can help by adding to it.(September 2016)

  • Flashman in Tom Brown's Schooldays
  • Too-Tall Grizzly and his gang in The Berenstain Bears franchise
  • Henry Bowers, Victor Criss "Vic" Criss, Reginald "Belch" Huggins, Patrick Hockstetter, Peter Gordon, Steve "Moose" Sadler, and Gard Jagermeyer in Stephen King's novel It
  • Clarence "Buddy" Repperton, Richard "Richie" Trelawney, Donald "Don" Vandenberg, and Peter "Moochie" Welch in Stephen King's novel Christine
  • Nelson Muntz, Jimbo Jones, Dolph Starbeam, Kearney Zzyzwicz, and the "Weasels" in the animated sitcom The Simpsons
  • Chris Hargensen and numerous other girls and students in Stephen King's novel Carrie
  • Roger Klotz, William "Willie" White, Ned Cauphee, and Boomer Bledsoe in the animated television series Doug
  • Flash Thompson and other jocks and popular students in the Spider-Man franchise
  • Numerous mean kids in the movie Scarecrow
  • Steve Jackson and his gang in the fantasy sci-fi film Explorers

See also[edit]

Sources[edit]

References[edit]

  1. ^U.S. National Center for Education Statistics. Student Reports of Bullying: Results From the 2001 School Crime Supplement to the National Crime Victimization Survey(PDF) (Report). 
  2. ^ abBurger, Christoph; Strohmeier, Dagmar; Spröber, Nina; Bauman, Sheri; Rigby, Ken (2015). "How teachers respond to school bullying: An examination of self-reported intervention strategy use, moderator effects, and concurrent use of multiple strategies"(PDF). Teaching and Teacher Education. 51: 191–202. doi:10.1016/j.tate.2015.07.004. 
  3. ^ abcdeGoldsmid, S.; Howie, P. (2014). "Bullying by definition: An examination of definitional components of bullying". Emotional and Behavioural Difficulties. 19 (2): 210–225. doi:10.1080/13632752.2013.844414. 
  4. ^ abcdefghijklmnoUNESCO (2017). School Violence and Bullying: Global Status Report(PDF). Paris, UNESCO. pp. 17, 29, 31. ISBN 978-92-3-100197-0. 
  5. ^Meyer, Doug (2017). "The Disregarding of Heteronormativity: Emphasizing a Happy Queer Adulthood and Localizing Anti-Queer Violence to Adolescent Schools". Sexuality Research & Social Policy. 14 (3): 331. doi:10.1007/s13178-016-0272-7. 
  6. ^Thornberg, Robert, and Sven Knutsen (2010). "Teenagers' Explanations of Bullying". Child & Youth Care Forum. 40 (3): 177. doi:10.1007/s10566-010-9129-z. 
  7. ^School-related gender-based violence is preventing the achievement of quality education for all. UNESCO Policy Paper 17 (March 2015)
  8. ^
Bullying, one form of which is depicted in this staged photograph, is detrimental to students' well-being and development.[1]
Some U.S. states have implemented laws to address school bullying.

  Law that prohibits discrimination against students based on sexual orientation and gender identity

  Law that prohibits discrimination against students based on sexual orientation only

  Law that prohibits bullying of students based on sexual orientation and gender identity

  School regulation or ethical code for teachers that address discrimination and/or bullying of students based on sexual orientation and gender identity

  School regulation or ethical code for teachers that address discrimination and/or bullying of students based on sexual orientation only

  Law that forbids school-based instruction of LGBT issues in a positive manner

  Law that prohibits bullying in school but lists no categories of protection

  No statewide law that specifically prohibits bullying in schools

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